time to wake up…

Has been a few weeks since i came back from my 2nd trip to redang.. It was SUPERB other than gurls gathering days.. i met who i wanna meet, khye of course.. well he didnt remember me should have known.

anyway found that he is a major player.. in RBR.. but i spent most of the time in d waters with him. He showed me all the underwater world that is hard to be seen if there is no guidance given by the divers. Oh well it was a superb 2nd trip alright.

not only during his work hours he was with me but also after his work hours. Probably coz he has nothing better to do. There werent much ppl on the island that day. He invited me for a one on one guide in the waters near the resort. I saw everything!! the underwater world creatures of coz, i didnt dive just plain snorkeling. He was helding my hand where i felt safe well got what i wanted which is wrong. HIS ATTENTION!!.

then he didnt know that i had him on facebook, upon returning i leave a short msg on FB. Didnt think he would reply.,. but he did. Nothing much he practically just responded to the msg i sent him which is part of manners i think and he is a friendly person and wat surprise me is that he still remembers me.

a week later.. we chatted for a while on FB.. just said hi how r u. how’s things, and tats it!.. he didnt ask for my number now nor did he ask for my number when i was in redang.

Waited for another chat session till today since last week, none.. saw him on FB just now… he didnt even acknowledge me. I guess he had forgotten abt me then coz he is a major player.

I guess what happens in redang stays in redang. Only i am the one who keep bringing it up trying still to be in my silly littly dream that maybe he would have feelings for gurls like me. Guess NOT!

Anyway, it was a great memory with him during my 2nd trip to redang which i am glad n happy and satisfied.

Wish that it would never happen again coz i feel so bad for doing this to my bF.. my beloved BF..   I am so sorry.. i still LOVE YOU no matter what coz u are the only one who understands me and loves me deeply.

Thank you baby. But i do know wat goes around comes around, do hope it will not happen to me in FUTURE. Fingers crossed. At least i didnt do anything behind his back. Maybe emotionally but i know its wrong. Lesson learned but the hard way.

Do not know y would i even fall for the wrong kind and i only have myself to blame.

Its time to WAKE UP!!

What! an offer..

went for an interview today for customer care position but in the end they feel that i am more suitable in sales n marketing..

guess how much they offered? rm2200 and rm100 petrol allowance permth, rm70 hp allowances. The basic salary to me was ok but to think that petrol allowances is the same as cust care exec with me i would feel that i am underpaid, plus cust care do not need to travel and use their own transport but i would need to use my car.. who is going to pay for tyres? maintenance? allignment? breaks? services? and only rm100 for all that? wow the company must be earning a lot coz i feel that they are bullying us the fresh graduates.

i know that we are lack of employment history but do not overpaid us, that is not fair.. plus for me to travel all the way to their office which in located opposite ampang point cost me rm20 perday inclusive of toll.

rm100? is enough for wat? not even enough for me to travel to office and some more they requires me to travel all around klang valley.. i know maybe some of you think that i should take up the job coz the current economy downturn worldwide.. but i am not going too cz i am so underpaid!!

besides sales and marketing is not ma thing’ screw them!!

visit interior.com.my (thats the korean based comp) and they say they are nice.. nice nOT!

Stupid of me to even thought about IT!!

like wounded soldiers… in need of healing

crushed n wounded,

in need of healing,

time to be honest to myself, things are not gonna workout gotta stop dwelling on it, no point keep thinking about it.

cant belive i said its going to be over it is just a matter of time, it does not matter anymore, coz i made my mind up there is no way things are gonna get better,

have to start letting it go, no one will come for me, no matter what gets in their way they would always stop therefore no one is going to come for me and at the end of the day i will always be alone.. alone and alone..

keep telling myself to stop dwelling on it and its time to be honest to myself, FORGET ABOUT IT.

i am actualy pleading myself to stop thinking about it, not young anymore should start doing things that is more meaningful to myself.

should think of myself n family and closest frens the rest does not matter anymore, they dont matter anymore.

now i am seeing things that i couldnt see for the past years, now i know what everyone was telling me.

now i VOW to myself, i would only do things that makes me happy and only me stop caring for others who dont even bother about my wellbeing. no one will come for me, only i would come for myself.

still i m in need of time to heal…. as they say, time heals..

i will always miss u

after what had happen today there is no way i am gonna go back to his hse anymore.. but i will always miss u n d bright side is that we are still together regardless of what had happened today..

i wish i can spend more time with u.. n i wish u will hav more time with mee but sometimes things arent the way we’ve always planned..

lets just hope for the best.. for me n u

i am emotionally tired today.. alone n will always be alone.

PEnang…

it has been so long since i wrote anything on my blog…

thats coz i am not connected to the internet for almost 1month..OMG feels so out dated for a while, after redang trip now here i am in PEnang another island but is totally different from redang.. no diver guy haha.. still misses him after so long even though i didnt even know him only spoken to his twice, kinda stupid of me to think of him so much.. gotta wake up soon..

anyway now that i am in penang i am gonna try all the delicious food here.. not going to miss any of it.. the best part i am so gonna make MC spend me dinner on SAT.. and a BIG dinner i shall say..hahaha!!

i am crashing a frens place where i got to know her better when we went to redang together in MAy.. her name is sarah.. nice gal nice fren.. n she rite next to me and we r in CC in PENAG.

YEs indeed i came all the way to PEnang to BLOG how odd,… just after meeting MC (MY CHIEN) opposite of this CC’s MCD and i indeed succeeded in making MC belanja me..

oh ya i am looking forward to another redang trip this coming JULY v mc n sb.. haha… tis time i am really going to explore redang to its fullest..

2nd day after redang trip….

redang island located in kuala terengganu, a beautiful place, its like heaven on earth with the sea, sand and beaches… n kai

the most memorable moment was when my heart was taken away by him; ‘kai/khai’ the diver in redang beach resort.

it’s not  that i dont miss the sand and sea and the marine wildlife, but i miss him the most (khai/kai) the diver who guided me when i was snorkeling in marine park in redang.

i feel so secure i was not thinking of my bf at all n i am so guilty about it. the best part is that kai i shall address him as, he was trying to flirt with me but i did not gave any feedback or green light which now i am regreting it now.

i love the way he was trying to flirt with me or maybe i think he was trying to flirt with me coz sarah was next to me when he pulled that act out when we were showering in a public area he was standing in front of me flirting with me asking me if i wana shower with him and i said NO then he chao off… n he was laughing n my heart was pounding fast so fast i couldnt breathe right.

n now here i am thinking bout him day any night and it is the 2nd day frm  the rip already and i did not even have him contact n his full name or at the very least his facebook contact.

i am so devastated… maybe i was thinking too much, but i can sense that he was waching me all along, coz he knows that i went down to the sea the 2nd time to search for baby lemon shark and i manage to saw 2 of it.

i miss kai and redang island and it is a mistake i did not take the initiative to even chat v him a little longer when he was flirting with me the second attempt…

wat i am feeling now is killing softly…

i miss KAi from redang beach resort thats a fact that i will never deny

reasons…

Well a quick post coz it just randomly ran accross my mind…
When I mention reasons… I meant, there are so many other reasons for me to be happy other than thinking about how frens that dont care about me…
I shouldnt care bout them if they dun care, n no reason to make myself unhappy for ppl like that…
Everyday is a newday.. and a newday should bring happiness to me and ppl who cares..

DUnno what i am crappin.. hahahaha~

ePiCentre..

I can’t believe it that I am going to work in PC fair, coz i never liked working in places like these; packed with humans and tiring.
But i decided to take a try… went for training yest from 2pm – 8pm and its so tiring..
On that day will be concentrating on selling iPhones a collaboration with Maxis telco.
PC fair in msia starts tmr.. how i wish i can say i wanna QUIT!!
on rm 80.00 perday… oh well i just wanna give a shot.
And the best part, i am having slight fever.. hope it wont get worst.

another day…

Has got nothing much to do…to lazy to discuss about assignments.. my mind is fill with the thought of prom nite this coming monday..

Should I spend so much just for one nite? It is just another Utar function which should be boring… n i attend for the sake of “never did attend any Utar functions for the past 3 year” so i thought for the last sem n last year i should try n c..

i bought a long red dress…for only rm149.. its a simple one..

But now i am in a dilemma of should i spend money on my hair n make up..

If i did spend that much, it will be costing me more than rm300 just for one nite…

The question is…should I???

Real and fake….

I wonder… and always asked myslef what is the meaning of REAL in human relations?..

What about FAKE in human relations as well. Human relations from my perspective are friendships, love relationships and relations that involves humans….

What i do not really understand is relationship between friends? They can be true, yet fake and they are friends. Even no matter how nice u treat your friends how sincere you treat them we can never tell when they are real and when they are fake, relationships can always be deceiving and most of the time lead to dissappointment.

But when things happen and when u need your “friends” help some how true friends would stand out and you will know how real they are to you when they offer solutions to you.

Friends that would help in times of need and bad need not to be those very close to you or spend most of the time together…. those are true relations, I would perceive as.

Humans do not often show their true self as they think its the way to protect themselves, but i would say that selfish.

No matter how close friends can be they would still hurt your feelings in all ways.

I know who my Real friends are, all that i can say no matter what had happen to me any problems that i may be facing i should learn how to be independant and not to rely on anyone for help.

Technology changes, economy changes, climate changes all these changes are some how predictable but changes in human feelings, thinking and emotions one can never predict.

I would say humans are the most scary creature you will never know when they will turn their back against yours.

SO BEWARE!!