Not a very good Morning….

Had a bad morning, hit my self on my feet before coming off to work while closting the front gate. Was suppose to reverse the car instead I drove in front almost bang the front gate of my house. Luckily I am able to get to my sense to know what is going on. Stepped on the break peddle, else.. history.

This is due to the tatto incident on my bf’s hand of the name of the x’s gf of his. So long already still I had to dig it up, but I can’t help it can i? seeing other gurl’s name on his hand instead of mine makes me go insane.

I do not know why on earth do I keep bringing this up, at least once every year. Well the fact that the name is there is truely a FACT and it is in a such obvious position, how else should I ignore it? Do I have to keep telling myself to ignore? How many times can I stand the feeling where I see other gurls name on him rather then my name.

It’s not that I want my name on him but it’s just a matter of fact that I would want to hear beautiful words from him but yet what I always get is the opposite. I had asked him “when are u getting my name on since u have her name on?” he answered ” wait till u marry me”
Wait till I marry him? I was so offended what does he meant by after marrying him? Was his X married to him when he got her name on him? Then, was it he loved her so deeply that he would do it but when it comes to me I had to marry him first? This sentence is not nice to hear.

All of you may think that I overly reacted but imagine if your guy has another gurl’s name on him. If you can accept it well good for you, as for me I can’t no matter how I try and tell myself to.

~Tear drops on my pillow~

To cherish or to be ignorant

Friendships.. I wonder what it meant for some people, to me I really treassure friendship somehow they always thought that I dont, maybe I do not know how to convey myself but I do know how I feel in my heart.

I sincerely treassure friends but I dont know they way they see it. Perhaps they thought that I am that kind of person who take friends for granted but I am very sure that I am not. For those who feel this way, then it’s too bad because I am not.

Some people can just ignore you after some sort of incident and that’s the end of the friendship? Where me will still be thinking about it whether of the incident or of the person who is involve.

For such friendship I guess there is really nothing to be cherish, as no effort taken to patch or mend things back. Such friends I should erase from my memory or just stay ignorant? To ignore I can’t because I will  be definitely thinking about it not sure about others, as sometimes I feel i am being taken for granted.

Should stop feeling sorry for myself, if the person don’t treassure me then why should I waste my effort and my sincerity, I rather be alone then.

To friends who do not know how to treassure friends stay away, if your motive is just to use the other party then please do believe in karma, it will get you back one day.

One thing I have learnt, friends that comes easily never last for some reason.

So how do we know to cherish or to ignore, for me I have trouble deciding it, i am trying very best to please everyone, sometimes I find it hard because at the end I am not happy, and for the get back, no one treassures me.. hahah.. Life itself is hard enough, what I would need is friends that is true and sincere.

Be nice to friends that you really want to cherish, for those whom you dont wish to cherish pls let them know and tell them off dont make them think that they are your friends as they would wanna do things to impress and to keep the relationship alive where you would be take things for granted. To me if you really care for a friend what ever happen how angry you are with them, you wouldnt cut off communications with them for those who do, I guess you are not true at all. Unless it is something really unforgiveable.

Cherish in order to be cherished, ignore if you wouldn’t want to cherish or to be cherished~

Korean food…

I am a korean food lover have only tried korean food at ss2 (Korean house Korean BBQ), Amcorp Mall’s (Hauen Khoon Korean Restaurant), Daorea (PG, Hartamas + Puchong outlet).

My favourite of all? Well I find it hard to decide.. but if you were to ask me which is the worst its Daorea Puchong’s outlet. Let’s see what I dislike most about Puchong’s Daorea outlet; service was bad most of the waiter don’t seems to understand what I want probably its because we didn’t order their BBQ set since there were only 2 of us and I saw in the menu it’s stated that for any BBQ menu it’s compulsary to order at least 2 portion? One portion itself cost about RM27 for 2 it would be RM54 besides, I think BBQ portion is meant for 4 people or at least 3 to dine in together else it would be too much for 2 person.

Lets analyse SS2′s Korean House, service was excellent food was O.K but not that great, BBQ set was so so… price was affordable. The best is their side dish, of the 3 korean restaurant SS2′s side dish was the nicest and also not forgetting their Kim Chi Ji Gae = Kimchi Soup.. I L.O.V.E kimchi soup. YUMMY!~

As for Amcorp Mall’s; lets see, they don’t serve BBQ but only set, eg kimchi soup set, bbq chicken/beef/lamb/cuttlefish in set, they also do not provide side dish as much as the other korean restaurant provides. In a set probably 1 or 2 side dish and it’s not refillable and kimchi as a side dish is a must in most korean restaurant. The best kimchi would be of Amcorp Malls’. Food here is great price is affordable but do not have much variety to select from. Food from this place is awesome & the portion serve is big for a person.

Daorae; they have branches in most of the states even in Penang, but thier HQ is the outlet at Desa Sri Hartamas. I went to the all 3 branch of PG, Hartamas and the one in Puchong last nite. Out of this 3 branch the best was in PG, maybe because of a hot korean the owner’s son well not really hot as in super good-looking but better off than having my dinner/lunch surrounded by foreign workers and who can’t even understand message I was trying to convey. Well PG’s outlet was way better than the ones here that I had been to. PG ambience was way better even though the design had been the same but it was well-kept and looked clean and comfortable on top of it, there is a gorgeous korean hunk.. heheh.. oops better not let my bf find out.. Ok now the food, side dish of all 3 daorea were normal nothing nice compare to the rest of the korean restauran I had been to. But the kimchi soup of the 3 outlet the best was from PG’s outlet but, because of I dine in with a friend most of the time for korean food so therefore we would not order BBQ dishes as the minimum order must be 2 portion. As such we only have Kimchi Ji Gae. MY FAV of all time…

Well, sorry folks I am not a great photographer as a matter a fact  I am a lousy one so I did not take any photos.. Well I think from now on I should practice my skills by taking photos of food I have tasted places I had been to, to be recommended to everyone. hahahah…..

Pictures?? next round if I ever remember to take any of them… adios~ A gastronomical Effect!

‘a’ L.O.V.E S.T.O.R.Y to tell……

Love? What is it? To what extend we would react for L.O.V.E? Is love important? What is it like if someone has no love for anything? Or what is some one who loves anything he/she sees? Weird.. all sorts of different kinds of people.

Then what about like? Is like = love? can you like but not love a person? sure can rite? but what about you loving a person but not liking that person? does that make sense? nope rite? so love … ???

I have a friend T, male, high school friend of mine, used to bully all the girls is school. T would do anything to make fun of girls in my class, class of his own, others anyone.. he just makes fun out of anyone. Since then I had always wondered will he ever fall in love with any gurls? Well he is not good-looking and he is huge and evil! Will any girls be even thinking of loving him not even close to likeness I guess. I have no doubts that not a single girl would fall for him. hahah i think got that rite as he is a bully to me. Well I don’t let anyone bully me i will make sure they get the equal punishment of what they did to me. I was fierce back in school then primary & high school. For those who knew me.. you know who you are. M still the same.

The funny thing is that, I never knew after high school we would actually be friends with T as he is always mean, loud, huge & he speaks to gurls as if we are a guy. Then…(it’s not that i m in love with him, but it is his love story that i wanna reveal) upon graduating from high school no one know how is he and eventually forgotten about his existence.. ( i think i m mean to say that). After I got together with my current lovely bf, what a small world.. they are best friends.. hah! & have been keeping in touch with T too.

T is always loud doubt that he is any gurls preference as a bf type or category, but I want to know if there is anyone that he actually fell for last time even now. Some how after graduation he became closer with my bf and eventually told him everything and knowing my lovely bf would tell me all of it too. (my dearest can’t keep secrets from me at all) heheheh…..!  Oh well in a way me & T became close too & eventually went out for drinks together and where he will be telling stories back in High School to me & my bf.. funny thing, back then in school never cross my mind that this would come. Having sitting down together and have drinks and chats, but T is still the same always the same old loud n harsh T & doesnt care what other people says about him. I think that is one of the reason he can’t get a gf.

T has been hanging around me & my bf for quit some time, we have our outings, drinking sessions, and found out that he actually has a soft side, well everyone has a soft side that’s true but if you got to know T’s character you wouldn’t even want to know if he has a soft side. Now i realize that T is actually very very kind at heart, he is very helpful towards friends, when some of his close friend would be taking advantage of that and part of it he is rich as well. What I am interested is in researching whom he liked/loved back in high school years, cause once he did mentioned to us that there is a some one he was trying to pursue (8 years back).

Trying very hard to dig from T of who he liked/loved, even my nosy bf wants to know. YA my bf is NOSY super busy body likes to stick his nose in to everyone’s business too.. hahah

Finally the story unveiled yesterday, even my bf got shocked.. There is a pair of twins in my year one of the twin is in the same class as me where i cant really remember if she is the elder sister or the younger sister, well that’s not the one he liked. T’s interest is in the other one who is not in the same class as i am. Her name is “snow”. Here is how it goes….

If i m not mistaken, it happen when we were 17 he is really in to Snow, some how they became friends and chatted all day, T would spent about Rm10 perday on phone bill, back then Rm7 is quite a lot to me especially coz i would only get RM2.50 perday as allowances/pocket money from my parents. Well T’s dad is rich.. hhaa back to the story, some how T’s affection for snow grew deep and deeper day by day, no doubt of that Snow really does look like Snow, coz she is fair almost pale skin tone with red lips and an oval cun love shape face feature. When she smile she i think T would melt. That explains whenever snow is around T would just stand there still and waited to be punished by me in front of Snow of course. But i stil prefer ice her younger twin sister, to me i think ice is prettier. Oh well beauty is in the eyes of the beholder!.

According to T, they almost started their romance, well i wouldnt know what snow sees in him hehehehe…. but something happened in between, one of T”s close friend told T that he too likes Snow a lot and would like to be in a fair battle in winning SNow. Knowing T is a the kind of person who would give way to his best friend, SNow questioned T telling T that his best friend is pursuing her too & would like to know if T would like to take any action? Probably she meant that she would wanted T to tell him to back off & at the same time intend to start of with T.

But T actually gave way to his friend to pursue snow cause worried that he would offend his best friend? I cant believe it that T would made such stupidly out of the world action of pushing the gurl he loved for his friend? stupid coward i felt like giving him a piece of my mind when i found out. According to T before such incident happen he actually asked her out for a favor as T lied to snow saying that he wanted to get a present for his sister so wanted snow’s opinion (si-q) on which bracelet would be better, definitely if you are asking someone’s opinion which ever selected would be the one she likes rite? so in actualy fact the bracelet is intended for Snow as her birthday present.

After T back off to give way to his best friend to continue pursuing snow, the bracelet remain with T, he hadnt had the chance to present it to her. 8 years later which is now, the bracelet is still with T, he is still hoping in one day he would be able to present to snow. Till now T is still inlove with snow. BUt to me is just plain stupid! how can u give way to another person when u say u love her o him? u should let them choose who they wanna be with? not you deciding for them.

T found out in my profile has SNow’s profile… Fb do connect with ppl. TO date SNow is future doc to be, T is just another guy on the street with no higher education qualification. Do you think a doctor to be would be with him? guess not.

T loved her and is still loving her, but knowing there won’t be any chance of even seeing or getting in touch with her, coz i dont think she would wan to.

Pity T.. i hope he would find his true love one day….. T is really a nice guy, a nice friend, regardless of his looks. His feature would probably even scare a person a way which that makes it difficult for him to find his the other half. But i sincerely wish him all the best.

He may be not good looking, but he can be the best lover ever!.. No doubt!

the 6th Anniversary

the gift

Today is our 6th years anniversary. I bought a small gift for him name it he gift. It’s a watch from cerrutti 1881, been eyeing on it since 2008 in December.

Finally decided to get it for him. A very simple and classic design and with leather strap.

It is really worth the value.

We went out for fancy dinner on a Sunday night not all fancy to me, but consider ok ok lah.. hahah

Surprisingly I have nothing else to express about this day! I m not sure what am feeling, maybe coz I am having a small cold war with him today.

According to chinese sayings, entering the 7th year is the year where couples face most problems and have the tendency to breakup. I have no say maybe we will maybe we won’t. It’s fated.

Somehow I felt it may end soon.

Time will tell.

 

In memory of my bracelet

The swatch bracelet of 4 years from my dearest bf

 

Today dated 02.03.2010 is a super sad sad sad sad day. I m angry at myself and sad at the same time. I lost my bracelet. Somehow it got loose and slip off from my wrist and i didnt notice it.

I shouldnt have wear it to work!! shouldnt have! The reason why I am so sad is because the bracelet is from my bf a valentine’s day gift 4 years back. It was broken once n i didnt wear it for 2 years and then my BF went n fix it but it is not the same as before but this time better coz he added a hook to it. So tat It wont come off easily.

But who knows, me so smart wear it everywhere i go mean everywhere!.. its missing now. duno where it went. I think it got lost in JS office.

and i dont think anyone who finds it will be so nice to return it to me although i had announce it to allKLjobstreet via email.

please blessed pray for me that a good person found it and want to return to the owner badly! been crying all morning. i don not know wat else i can do.

I hope something can ease my pain. It is really painful of losing something you really LOVE!

Today is the day….

Today is the day where I m going to hand in my resignation letter. Talked to my mom she was like ” told u to leave a long time ago” nevermind slowly find again and get a better opportunity else wherer. Better opportunity definitely not in JS.

Sighing all the way~

Resigning means jobless, jobless means no income for the next month and many more months to come. *sighing~ again!

But I m sure tomorrow will be a better day but not while I m still in Jobstreet~

And so the story continues, after lunch I saw my boss at my floor, he was busy talking on the phone, I wanted to hit the send button via email to notify him that I am resigning but feel that discussing it face to face with him is the best!

But then I saw him walking to my place and then I approach him and ask him if he has a minute, he said ok but give him a second there he goes pulling a few red packets from his pocket and give me one angpow, cuz it’s still chinese new year ma! ahhaha

Later on he was like “yes! let’s talk somewhere else, when we went looking for a meeting room ended up at pantry area at level 6, then he was like why u want to resign? I never have the intentions of wanting you to resign don’t get me wrong, I only asked if you are interested to learn new things with other team in another department, and if you don’t want to nevermind you can always stay in this team you know, and I am not asking you to leave! You keep this letter I m not going to accept today, if you really insist of leaving then I won’t stop you but you go home today and think about it first. If tomorrow you still want to resign I will let you go”

And so I took back the letter and said I will think about it lar… so which means he knows I won’t be resigning so soon too

hahhahaha good or bad? hmmm

expecting the unexpected!! at JS

I have been working for this company about 5 months and the  next month would be my confirmation month, the boss who hires me had resigned. Since then I am very free had nothing much to do, practically free I am on msn chat box and facebook most of the time.

New boss took over the department that I am currently in and I thought I would have a better future under him. My position has nothing to do with sales more of support to the team. During our first meeting he did mention that he is not sure if this team needs a support team which is referring to my position of course.

At that moment I sense that he may wants to transfer me to another department but then he did not say anything much about if after that. 3 weeks has passed since that meeting, and today 12.02.2010 a Friday, he (my boss) arrange a meeting ‘one on one’ telling me that ‘he’ feels that it is best if I to transfer department in doing sales. He quote ” over there you can learn more as you would be busy doing things meeting new people”. WTF!

If I were to be interested in sales I would have gone for so many job choices rather than to be working for this shittiest ever company that I am in right now!

I thought the face of my department and position would change, maybe more workshops to be organised I would handling learning section. I guess he wants to chage it and change me. Cause to him my position is useless enquote “I have no malicious intentions, I am not wanting you to leave or resign” bullshit!

Ok fine! I will hand in my resignation letter next week after chinese new year that will  be.

I wonder what is coming ahead, it is suppose to be chinese new year! A fun celebration, now it’s more like the celebration of problems in my head. Not thinking any much deaper.

resigning is my only option I guess…

Please show me some clueS.. plsss…

Bless me.

 

the Recovery stage…

The aftermath after that worst day of my life refering to the 1st tuesday of 2010. That night I remembered my bf said he heard every sentence ‘he’ had said, it hurts me so bad seeing my bf in such a way.

Been wanting to post this early of February but.. too lazy to finish writing about it.

Basically, everything went back to normal, and my bf is as loving as ever but he can  be pain in the ass sometimes..cause now he checks on me n dislike me going out at night.

My Oh my.. but I am glad everything is back to normal.

It’s my birthday today… 08.01.2010 a day to remember or to forget?

Only a few days after new year and already been going through alot. I wish i can tell everything let me start one by one.

Let’s see, I shall start from Tuesday nite, ‘he’ has been msging me once after work till 8pm+ he asked me out, I wouldn’t say it’s a date to me I wanna take it as a yumcha session but it’s only me and him. ‘He’ reached my place at about 9pm+ and then said wanted to go for a drink at Station one, ok since he said he wanna go there and insisted so we went, ‘he’ came and picked me up. The bad side is that, I lied to my bf saying that I am going out for a drink with my roommate but in actual fact I am going out with a guy whom I don’t even know if ‘he’ likes me. I just hope to have a friend who really cares for me when I need someone. Knowing my bf would be furious if he found out that I am going out with a guy and only us!

And so I lied, enjoying my moments with him which I am unsure till now of what I am really feeling off. Turned my Hp to silent mode cuz i wouldn’t know how to answer my bf’s call if he called. During that session, ‘he’ surprised me with a birthday cake knowing that my birthday is coming and ‘he’ wouldn’t have the time to celebrate it with me so he wanna be the 1st to do so. So there goes the normal tradition of celebrating a birthday, sing a bday song, make a wish and blow the candles, in my case there is only one candle available. … hahahhaha but it’s ok i don’t mind either. It was really surprising, I was touched for a moment, but that moment is gonna end with nightmares soon.

Let’s refresh, ‘he’ asked me out I went, at the session there is only 2 of us, ‘he’ said things like, I really like you and if you would give me a chance, it’s really nice being with me, I m full with surprises, I can really take care of you I know the fact that you have a bf but, i don’t care i just want you to be happy, I know that you are always alone here and you and your bf far apart and i can feel no more sparks in your relationship. (the fact that he has a gf too) he is asking me to join his lil 2 timing scam i would say……… but i told him from the start i like his attention but i love my bf alot and i can never leave him. The only thing that is lacking in my relationship with my bf is that he doesn’t have time for me.

I was not confused, ‘he’ knows he doesnt stand a chance… yet he still wanna care. I like his attention havent been getting those for the past 6 years. THEN, my hp was on silent mode, bf keept calling for the past half an hour i think, some how or rather the phone asnwer by itself and whatever ‘he’ said was being heard by my bf…….

to be cont..

need to rush back to pd after work which is tis moment.. i m grounded by my bf now.. he is in control now .. shit me… happy bday to me i n myself.. i wish and hope i know wat i really want.

BLESS ME